49 DAYS 13 DESTINATIONS

From SUN to SUN!

Thailand to Antibes…

49 days ago I just arrived to Thailand and I never thought that a few months later I’ll be living on a boat in the South of France and listening to “Jazz in Paris – Improvisations” by Stephane Grappelli and meditating by the sea every morning.

But before I tell you more, let me say THANK YOU for a few of you for being there for me. By the way the “Thank you list” is pretty long, so feel free to just skip it…..

THANK YOU!  WE ARE ALL A REFLECTION OF EACHOTHER!

Thank you for the cuddles, laughter, kindness and all the naughty stuff that I can’t possibly  mention here and now. Thank you for being there! 

Merci beaucoup Kirsty White, Jean Marc for making me feel home on your boat and for everything else. Thanks for being real!You opened up a new world to me. Thanks Fifi for teaching me patience.

MASSIVE thank you for Natalie McViking for being kind and carring.You were the bridge between my destinations, the link between dream and reality.  Thank you.

Thanks for all the French Man walking down the streets of Antibes.You make me feel alive, sexy and desirable. J'adore! x

Mhairi Smith you rock! You are an amazing friend. Always there when needed. Always! Giles Cooper! My admiration for you grows every day. And your sudden idea of me being in Antibes is my reality now! Thanks for the thought!

Grazie Chiara Vergani for teaching me the Italian way! You are a great friend and amazing travel agent.

Alessandro! Alessandro Repetto! You need a separate chapter in my blog. “The Italian case.” Grazie for everything! I am very grateful, even for the “bad” times.

Stevan Cyril Miller. Thank you for the best curry ever and the cuddles. You made me feel safe.

Peter Antonio Marie you made me love Dutch people even more. Thank you for making my time in Phi Phi memorable…..Thank you for your e-mails and music…They are perfectly timed and always bring smile to my heart.

Bas Koning. Thank you for reminding me how much I love singing. I recorded the original version of the "Csitari hegyek alatt" which I will send you via FB sometimes.

Sonia, Ilze , Lisa, Era, Sukhi and Magdi! 

You are beautiful, strong, graceful women who I am proud to know. I love your energy, your determinations, your zest for life.

Nick and Rufus. Thanks for making the “ move” effortless while I am away.

I have a lot of love and time for both of you. Thank you! x

Thanks MUM for being selfless and consistent recently.

I really LOVE you. Thanks for the GRATUTUDE JOURNAL.

I am sure it helps you as much as it helps me…

DAD? You are one of the kindest and most helpful people I have ever met.

Thank you for reminding me how important it is to look after others.

BACK TO THE STORY……49 DAYS 13 DESTINATIONS

Liverpool to  Manchester  > Dubai  > Bangkok  > Krabi  > Ao Luk >  Phi Phi  > Phuket  > Bangkok > Dubai  > Manchester  > Chester  > London  >  Transylvania  > Milan  > Antibes…the journey never ends!

7 weeks = 1.176 hours of joy, adventure, lots of traveling in and outside myself, incredible new cultures, wonderful new and old friends, inspiring moments, kind kindred spirits and very few visits from the old gloom. Some profound pain ( Wow…this lyric is just on now “Pain is part of process of revelations. Stay on the road” ….love these little signs!)

Lots of growing and loving!

For a moment I slightly regret not documenting these 7 weeks, especially Thailand as one of the initial purposes of the blog was to track my feelings and my thoughts hoping that what I find will be useful for me and others….I just got caught up in the moment and I had little time to reflect and write. I realised that the PAST fades away ever so quickly. Feelings transform and their significance has a different meaning in the NOW.

When I go to India I’d like to capture the energy of the NOW…the glow that sparkles in every moment - the sharpness of the feelings when they just feel like coming into existence lighting up every single dark corner, shifting every old useless pattern and breathing life into the soul.

ONE STEP!

My “30 days before I am 30” journey turned out to be the most amazing period in my life. Each day something reminds me of the lesson I learned. It is not about the destination - it is about the journey OR I should say It is as much about the journey as it is about the destination. 

It is about each and every step. Each and every breath, each and every glimpse in an other person’s eyes…each and every sound, each and every stroke…….ONE STEP AT A TIME as Juan said it a  few months ago…

ADVENTURE! BE A CHILD! LOOSE FEAR!

Yesterday morning I needed some adventure, so I climbed some rocks by the sea: scary ones...nothing to hold onto, hidden gaps, deep caves, slippery surfaces! 

Every step I was risking my life!

I had to concentrate on ONE step at a time. My heart was beating fast!

Pulsating sweat dripping down my back: ”What if I cannot get out at the end? What if I have to turn all the way back? What if I slip? There is no-one else around.“ 

My creepy thoughts were suspended by an unexpected splash of wave!!!! Boooomm!!
Fresh, cold and completely wet, I started laughing!

The feeling took over my thought and whispered: “Don’t be afraid! Just enjoy and be playful”.

I looked up to the sky…it was like standing between two seas. One above and one underneath me, both holding the proud SUN that was shining through me. 

Shining into my soul. 

Just feel and be on the step you are on now. It was a sweet reminder...And the rocks suddenly became stones…small little fluffy stones and I felt like jumping joyfully without fear….I was safe…I was a jumping child by the beach who does not know fear……I was free in the moment…I was the jumper, the rock, the sea…I was ONE.

ONLY THE STILLNESS IN YOU CAN PERCEIVE THE SILENCE OUTSIDE…

It is now over 30 days after my birthday and I am still traveling and embracing the unknown…sometimes with joy, sometimes with fear, but always with curiosity.

There is something rather mischievous in the UNKNOWN…I smile and I let go.

Every morning I remind myself to trust and surrender.

You and I are already whole and we do not need to chase after anything in order to be complete. Listen to your feelings, rather than your thoughts and there you will find your truth.