Words and Flowers

This post is dedicated to my old time friends Katinka, Ani and Magdi , my mum & dad and the guy whose performance tonight  in the mono drama" Flowers to Algernon" reminded me that labeling our thoughts, actions, feelings  - into good or bad, right or wrong- can be damaging. Living, Breathing, Being, Experiencing ALL the feelings, actions and thoughts as they arrive ,without expectations and labels is more precious....

I stumbled across this note from my past and I thought I will share it with you.
Please read it with no expectations....

Sometimes I do get caught up in the cycle of my rushed environment and forget that being needy and looking for reassurance is just a temporary insecurity......

Overall I am not sad or lonely, although I could find reasons to be....I wish I could just pick up the phone and say to mum that I am coming over for Sunday lunch, or say to my dad that I will take him to a game next weekend, or have a fight with my brother or sister I have never had.

I have left home when I was 19....so I do not know any other way, but to be alone. Lost everything (including myself) after my divorce and ended up with debt and a lot more pain in my heart.

I am far from feeling sorry for myself.....I actually like these challenges....they shaped me and helped me to be the person that  I am proud to be today.....

I am in a quiet place in my heart where my values are strong.

I can bring or leave people behind...I fight for them for a while, but I do not force something that they don’t want to have: me.

Now and again I get burnt, but deep down there is stillness and love...

 

 Good night and good morning! x